090909
by jellybeansprout
Summary: Nonsense and Crack. Tsuna learns the meaning of the day in a hopefully humorous way. Happy 09-09-09!


**090909** by _ficklepickles_

* * *

There was a red mark on the kitchen calendar today. Tsuna had favored it with half a glance before deciding that it had nothing to do with him.

He couldn't recall if anyone had mentioned any particular event that was happening that day, or if he had a scheduled appointment. Reborn wasn't the type to circle dates or give Tsuna any sort of forewarning before jetting him off to some distant location for training. At best, he figured it was something his mother had done, to remember a sale or something.

Even still, as he trotted his way to school between his ever-present schoolmates and Guardians, the curiosity of the marked date remained.

"Is there anything going on today?" He mused aloud, after a few minutes of listening to Gokudera's bickering and Yamamoto's good natured laughing.

His two friends paused to turn their attention to him.

"Dunno, but my pop's having a dinnertime special and a sale price for today." Yamamoto offered helpfully. "Wanna come check it out after school?"

Gokudera's answer took a more scholarly approach. "Mathematically, today is a unique day dealing with the number nine. Wednesday and September both have nine letters in their names, and the ninth of September is the 252nd day of the year. Taken as single digits, two plus five plus two equal nine." He rattled off effortlessly.

"Er, thanks." Tsuna replied, a bit confused. Neither answer really solved his question, but he appreciated the effort. "Dinner sounds good though, Yamamoto. Would it be alright if a few others came long too?"

"Sure." The baseball player said easily.

The short brunette turned to his grey-haired friend. "Would you like to join us for sushi tonight?" He asked.

"Of course Juudaime!" Was the instantaneous reply. "I'd be honored!"

Tsuna could almost see the wagging tail. He smiled with a light blush. "Thanks."

Gokoudera's enthusiasm would always have a belittling effect on him, no matter how earnest the half-Italian was. It made Tsuna feel like he didn't deserve the foolishly honest eagerness that Gokudera so readily displayed to his selective honoree of Tsuna and Reborn.

For the moment, Tsuna let it go in favor of smiling and walking peacefully beside his friends even as a new argument rose between them.

At the school gates, the three split for their individual lockers, but not before Gokudera and Yamamoto stopped as if just remembering something.

"Oh, almost forgot. Here ya go." Yamamoto said, grinning as he handed Tsuna a slip of folded white paper.

"Juudaime, a message for you!" Gokudera pronounced, presenting the note carefully.

"Thanks." Tsuna took the slips with some curiosity. The baseball player left for the practice fields after patting him on the back, and Gokudera regretfully announced that he had some "business" he needed to take care of.

Nodding in understanding, Tsuna waved a quick farewell to his friends, knowing that he'd see them soon in class. In the meantime, he made his way slowly to homeroom, unfolding the notes as he did so.

On the slips was only the number nine and the initials of the one who had given it to him. Confused, Tsuna was about to toss them into the nearest wastebin when he figured that there must be some other meaning to it he was missing. He pocketed them instead, and continued walking.

To his surprise, he found Kyoko and her friend Hana already seated. The dark haired girl sent him a strange look as he walked in. Whispering something to the oblivious auburn-haired girl she stood and excused herself with hardly a second look in Tsuna's direction.

"Oh, Tsuna!" Kyoko called out brightly when her eyes lit upon him. "I was waiting for you!"

Something in Tsuna's heart fluttered and for a moment he dared to believe that it might be hope.

"My brother was looking for you." She continued blithely.

All his hopes came crashing down.

"But he wandered off on a jog a few minutes ago. He should be back soon."

"Oh, ok." He said quietly, failing at hiding his disappointment. He stood around, resisting the urge to twiddle his thumbs as he waiting. Knowing Sasagawa-san's personality, the boxing club member was most likely running around the school with all his might. That meant he would probably be left waiting a while.

Desperate for something to talk about to ease the awkwardness, he stared into Kyoko's cutely smiling face and said the first thing that came to mind. "Today's the ninth, isn't it?"

"Yep." Kyoko answered cheerily.

"It's a special date, right?" Tsuna pushed on, hoping for some kind of conversational reciprocation.

"Yep." Came the quick and simple answer.

"Doesn't it have some kind of meaning?" The brunette pressed once more.

"According to Chinese language and fortune telling, today would be a good day for marriage." A seductive voice purred from behind him.

Tsuna almost jumped out of his skin. "Bianchi?!" He yelped in shock as the tall Italian woman entered the classroom.

She smiled, a set of goggles already in place over her eyes. "My little brother seemed to have forgotten the lunch I packed for him this morning." She held up a cloth wrapped bento that seemed to be smoking purple fumes. "I brought it to him so that he wouldn't have to come all the way back for lunch." She said, smiling.

"Uh..." Tsuna wasn't about to be the one to explain why Gokudera had "forgotten" his lunch. "I'll take it to him." He offered, knowing that if Gokudera did arrive, Bianchi would force the poor boy to eat it while it was still "fresh".

"Thank you, Tsuna. You're a good boy." She said, patting him on the head just a tough too roughly. She placed the lunch box securely in Tsuna's hands, and stood with a palm on her hip in the doorway. "By the way, today is the day to marry. Triple nines will secure longevity in all things." She said on her way out.

Tsuna silently opted to not dwell too much on Bianchi's words, lest she was hinting at another proposition to Reborn.

"One more thing." Bianchi said, her head popping back into the doorway. "Something from the cow." She held a crumpled ball of white paper in between two fingers. She dropped it into Tsuna's outstretched hand and gave a last parting wave.

Tsuna sighed at the paper. It was sticky with candy and something he didn't want to think about it. He smoothed it out anyway and wasn't surprised to see another number nine accompanied with a small LB scrawled into the corner.

"Oh, Tsuna-kun, what is that?" Kyoko asked at his side.

"Don't know." He answered honestly, putting it into his pocket with the other papers.

"Hm." Kyoko looked thoughtful for a moment. "That looks like--"

"EXTREME DELIVERY!!" The door rattled on its frame at the force of its opening.

"Hello, brother." Kyoko greeted merrily at her sweating and hoodie wearing sibling.

Ryohei looked up from the intense look he had been pinning Tsuna with, the only way he knew how to stare. "Mornin' Kyoko!" He greeted in return. Then thrust the paper into Tsuna's hands once more. The underclassmen fumbled with the paper but managed to grip it.

"H-Hey," he called out before the boxing club member could continue on his jog. "What's this for?"

"I forgot!" Ryohei shouted back with a grin.

Tsuna frowned at the retreating back of the only one he had remembered to question. He opened the sheet, unsurprised to see the nine or the messily written letters that made of Sasagawa Ryohei's initials. The only difference between this and the last were that the letters were huge. No doubt due to Ryohei's extreme style of writing.

"Out of the way."

The soft voice sent a chill down Tsuna's spine. Hurriedly, he jumped out of the way. Hibari stood, glaring at him. The brunette stepped back further, hoping to make it back into his classroom without further confrontation.

Hibari's slate eyes narrowed at him, and his lips pursed. He looked as if he was considering something, which would hopefully not be either his bloody demise or another fight with the "interesting baby".

After another moment of pause, Hibari continued walking.

Tsuna had just let out a breath when Hibari stopped again.

"Sawada." He said once.

"Y-Yes?" Tsuna pitched in acknowledgement.

The note was casually flicked toward his chest. It bounced off and fluttered down a ways before Tsuna managed to catch it. Shock was written across his features at knowing that Hibari had been given one as well. By now, it was becoming painfully obvious that Reborn had something to do with the notes. But Tsuna couldn't figure out what it could possibly be.

By the time Tsuna looked up, the Disciplinary Committee's president was already gone.

Unfurling his latest note, he once more saw a neatly printed nine in the center, and in the corner, in very small handwriting were two characters. He sighed. He had a feeling that this was going to be a very long day.

* * *

The connection had to be the day. It was the only thing that made sense.

Tsuna lugged his tired self home, with a pocket full of notes. By the end of his trek, he had eight in total. Two more had been delivered to him while he was still in class, from the worst possible mailmen in the universe.

Dino had come to deliver his own note personally, and without his men, he spent half the time tripping and knocking something over. His golden moment had come when he had entered the classroom with a cheerful smile, tripped over his own feet, slammed face first into the chalkboard and sent the tray full of chalk scattering onto the heads of the students.

It would have almost been fine if it hadn't been the wrong classroom. Instead of happily introducing himself in Tsuna's class like he had meant to do, he had meandered into the Ryohei's and Hibari's homeroom.

An entire floor away, Tsuna had managed to feel the building rock as Hibari took up any incentive for a fight.

Not even an hour after a badly bandaged Dino had been taken away by his men, as Dr. Shamal refused to treat the young Cavallone boss due to his lack of female bits, the second harbinger had arrived.

At that point, Tsuna knew for a fact that it was a conspiracy. It had to be.

No warning, just a loud and unmistakable yell, then the door of his classroom blew open.

"MESSAGE FOR YOU, YOU DAMN BRAT!" Squallo had shouted at a volume that would be considered an inside voice for him.

The crisp white note was hurled at his head, and a force unexpected of a sheet of paper, and Squallo was gone as soon as he had arrived. With no small amount of trepidation, Tsuna looked down and saw that the note bore a large red X down the center.

Tsuna had barely been able to escape school. He had been hounded by the teachers for what they considered a very poor and out-of-hand practical joke. Only after more apologies than he could ever remember giving in his life, which was already innumerous, and the promise that it won't happen again, did they allow him to leave.

Luckily, Tsuna had known that they had only been so lenient due to the reparations check Dino had already give them. The third floor had almost been obliterated when Enzo had found his way into a sink, so the encompassing check had been made for enough money to repair the entire school. A few more holes punched in by Squallo was almost nothing in comparison.

The last note had been given as Tsuna was attempting to run home to find and question Reborn.

He had ended up running into a trio of green Kokuyo uniforms. Chrome stood shyly in the middle between her own pair of flanking bodyguards made up by Ken and Chikusa.

"Boss." She said gently and almost sweetly in her soft voice.

"Uh...yes?" Tsuna had answered awkwardly. He never knew how to act around Chrome. She was quiet and loyal, but at the same time, only seemed that way because she was his supposed underling. Otherwise, she was utterly devoted to Mukuro.

"A message from Mukuro-sama." She said in that same sweet and soft voice.

Tsuna had paled and took that eighth note that had been proffered that day. "Thanks." He said nervously.

Chrome had only nodded, her single eye looking at him with almost no emotion but slight consideration. "Goodbye." She said again, and the trio wordlessly left just as mysteriously as they had arrived.

With that, Tsuna had eight notes in his pocket, and not the slightest clue as to what they meant. He was torn between wanting to throw them away or keeping them in case they ended up being something unexpectedly important.

He finished his trudge home with a tired "Tadaima" as he opened the door.

He was met with a resounding "Okaeri" that made his eyes pop out.

His tiny house was packed.

"Wake up, dame-Tsuna!" Reborn piped from nowhere, jumping up to bop his lazy pupil on the head. "You're late."

"For what?" Tsuna could only question agape. "And where were you all day?" He demanded of the infant.

"Preparations." Reborn answered simply. Then presented Tsuna with a box. "Put them in."

Tsuna gaped at it. "Put what in."

"The notes."

He knew it! The notes were because of Reborn. "What are they?" He asked, pulling them from his pocket in a crumpled mess.

Reborn eyed them as if counting. "Put them in." Tiny hands held up the box expectantly.

Knowing that he'd get answers later rather than sooner, Tsuna dumped the papers into the hole at the top of the box, surprise crossing his features when nine of them tumbled in. Where had that extra one come from?

Reborn smirked and shook the box. "Pick one."

Not liking the look of that smirk, Tsuna hesitated. Carefully he eyed the room, filled with smiling or scowling faces. He wasn't sure if he could look any of them in the eye at the moment. All of his Guardians were there, including the Kokuyo group. How they had gotten there before him was a question that wouldn't go answered. The Cavallone group was also present, as well as the manically grinning and scowling Varia tucked into the back.

"Reborn." Tsuna said quietly once more. "What exactly is it that I'm picking?"

"Your husband." Was the quick reply.

"WHAT?" Tsuna exploded.

"I did tell you that today was a good day for marriage." Bianchi said from where she sat beside a choking Gokudera.

"Nine suitors for the Vongola Tenth on the ninth day, of the ninth month, of the ninth year. It's a lucky day. Now pick." Reborn smirked.

"NO!"

* * *

_end_

* * *

Nonsense written in a hurry before the nine o' clock showing of Tim Burton's 9. Unbeta'd and confusing, but I wanted to celebrate it anyways. Happy 09-09-09!

**02-18-2010**: Congrats to Crow! First one to guess where the ninth note came from! I know I didn't make a huge mention of it or anything since I had posted it in a hurry, but it's the first time someone pointed out that there was an extra note! Yay! *throws cookies*


End file.
